Ah wayke up eech mourne
atta quarta ta too
shakin in a poole
of mah oan tremblin droole
cos insahde mah mynd
ah'se feel dat ol' bynd
crawle raght up mah beehynd -

is evr'y ting cleen
am ah stil leen an' meen
frahm mah ass to mah splean -
oar is dere a scaree hairee fairee dingl'berree
jes hangin arown?

Oh Ah'se Gaht da Itzee Bitzee Teenee Weenee Peenus Bloos Ahgen!

Ah'se goe ta werk
atta quarta ta ate
mah ty is too tite
mah ayes shoaze me no lite
cos insahde mah mynd
ah'se feel dat ol' bynd
crawle raght up mah beehynd -
is mah noz shinola browne
frem pokin' in up an' downe
evr'y ass kissin' clowne -
oar is dere a scaree hairee fairee dingl'berree
jes hangin arown?

Oh Ah'se Gaht da Itzee Bitzee Teenee Weenee Peenus Bloos Ahgen!

Ah'se tink uv mah wife
atta quarta ta nune
da only surah bet
is da dark shivah ah'se gett
cos insahde mah mynd
ah'se feel dat ol' bynd
crawle raght up my beehynd -
when shee's knot ahlong
an' ah'se sing mah song
is ah'se still friggin rong -
oar is dere a scaree hairee fairee dingl'berree
jes hangin arown?

Oh Ah'se Gaht da Itzee Bitzee Teenee Weenee Peenus Bloos Ahgen!

Ah'se lookin' da mirra
atta quarta ta nyne
ah'se caen't sees wot ah sees
oar bees wot ah bees
cos insahde mah mynd
ah'se feel dat ol' bynd
crawle raght up mah beehynd -
mi momma she's dere
ev'n wid hur peeyoobic haire
givin mee's dat staire wid flaire -
hay, littl boyah, dere is a scaree hairee fairee dingl'berree
jes hangin arown!

Oooh Ah'se Gaht da Itzee Bitzee Teenee Weenee Peenus Bloos Ahgen!